Of course it's nice to reminisce about the past and it's also pretty useful to have some direction for the future, but when they start to take over actually 'living in the now' then, in my opinion, that is no bueno. Anxiety is brilliant at stealing the present by focusing on what has happened or what could happen, so I try to be as mindful as possible and refocus my attention on the now.
When I feel I am dwelling on the past I remind myself that we often look back with rose-tinted glasses and that my past has brought me to my present, so I should learn from the past, be thankful for it and acknowledge what's done is done. The past was once my present, and my present will soon be my past, so I should make the most of the moment I am in.
With the internet and social media as prevalent as ever in our lives, we are constantly plugged in and I hate when I catch myself mindlessly scrolling through instagram or twitter; if I feel I'm looking at my phone too much I'll put it on flight mode for an hour. When I'm out I try not to look at my phone at all so I can take in my surroundings and appreciate what's going on, rather than looking at or reading about what someone else is doing. We often share the best parts of our days/lives so it can feel as if everyone is having an amazing time and has their shit together, except you. I don't think there is anything wrong with only sharing your highlights, back in the day people would ask artists to paint them without any flaws, it's just human nature! However, I am mindful that what I see is a censored version of someone's life, we all have stuff going on that is not instagram-able, that's just a part of life. And so what if someone is prettier, earns more, has more, is more together or having a better time? Those things are all subjective, and it doesn't mean you're crap. Be happy for that person and be thankful for what you have - at least that's what I tell myself.
I wrote about being in a transitional period right now, where my future *dun dun dun* is often the topic of my thoughts and conversations. I honestly dread when someone asks about my future, because I have no idea! I have no big plan or set path I want to follow, which gives me frequent anxiety, but not everyone knows want they want to do; I'm only 22 (nearly 23, eeep!) so I probably shouldn't be as freaked out as I am, but it can seem as if I'm the only one who hasn't got it 'figured out'. Sometimes I'll catch myself looking forward to being in my thirties, forties, fifties ~where I'll know what I'm doing and be settled and content~ but to get there I have to live today, not wish or worry it away. I still haven't got my exam results back which has caused me anxiety for the past few weeks, because my brain likes to think about the worst that can happen; it's frustrating as it's hard to enjoy the present when an impending future event is making you feel anxious. I am constantly reminding myself 'what will be, will be', and that I'll deal with the situation when I actually get to it! All I can do is take things one day or step at a time and concentrate on what I can do in this moment.
Something my dad has always said is "it will come and it will go", which has kind of become a mantra for me. It reminds me that I should be concentrating on the present, I cannot control the past or future, and everything is temporary. I am blessed in many ways so I aim to be actively grateful and appreciative for what I have and I try to live in the present and be mindful as much as I can. One thing I've learnt is you never know what's around the corner; make the most of today because you don't know what tomorrow will bring. Your life is now, right in this moment, so start living, being present and appreciating everything around you - it will soon be your past.
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