#12 Social Media Interaction, The More The Better?

There's no arguing that social media has become a part of many people's lives around the globe. Whether it's Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, or the like, most of us have an account on at least one platform. People even hold social media jobs - they weren't around a decade ago! It feels as if social media has always been around, but it wasn't too long ago, that if you took a photo of your food before eating it that you would get some really strange looks.

We all seem to be tweeting, 'gramming and pinning. So much so, there are now various studies focusing on the negative effects of being on social media too much. The internet is littered with anti-social media opinions, stating we no longer talk to each other and are glued to our phones. I really disagree with the idea that social media is affecting our connection with others, for me the world seems like such a small place now. Through social media, I'm able to easily keep in touch with family and friends in numerous countries, more so than if we didn't have social media. I have also been able to 'meet' lots of people that I never would have met in 'real-life'. So, if anything, social media has allowed me to connect with more people, and without speaking on the phone (which is a huge plus, because I hate speaking on the phone!)

That being said, I am also aware of the negative effects that can come with being too acquainted with social media. It's so easy to get swept up in comparing your life to others, and feeling like you're inadequate or missing out. However, we should remember that all of us tend to only show our best bits - you never know what goes on behind those glossy photos... I limit the amount of time I spend on platforms, because I do find constant exposure negatively affects my mood. Most of my time is spent on Instagram, where I actually gain a lot of positivity and inspiration, but that's because I've made sure I'm following accounts that evoke those feelings - I think I'll do a separate post on my realisation of that.

One thing I have recently become aware of is, though people may have countless followers or friends, the engagement from them is often very low. I've seen various bloggers on twitter talk about decreasing comments being left on their blog posts. On Instagram and Twitter, I have noted that the amount of likes on posts in relation to followers is crazy low. Some of this may be due to people buying followers (which is a completely bizarre concept to me and something I didn't know about until a couple of weeks ago) and inactive accounts. But why is having a huge amount of followers being held as the ultimate goal, when surely their engagement with your content is much more important?! Another question raised is, why are we passively receiving content? While we might be scrolling through and posting on platforms, why are we not interacting with others on them?

Maria Konnikova notes one study about Facebook interaction found "when people engaged in direct interaction with others their feelings of bonding and general social capital increased, while their sense of loneliness decreased". I really think that study is onto something. It's not social media itself that produces negative effects, but how we engage with it. Eurovision was a few days ago, and interacting with people who were live-tweeting really did create this sense of community (until the votes of course). Whereas if I just passively scroll through endless posts on Facebook or Instagram, I will most certainly feel deflated. So if engaging and connecting with others is the key to feeling positive when using social media, why are we not doing this? Personally, I frequently connect with those I follow because I am genuinely interested in what they are posting. I think it's important to let people know you're liking and enjoying their content, in order for them to keep making more of stuff you enjoy! I feel like on Facebook people almost feel forced to 'friend' those they really have no interest in, which then leads to the negative feelings associated with that platform. I would suggest looking at your accounts and the people you follow, and consider why it is you are following them. If you're passively receiving their postings without engaging in any way, ask yourself why this is. Are you really interested in their posts? Are you just following for the sake of it? Do you feel like for some reason you can't engage with the OP?

Social media can be a great source of information and inspiration. Being able to connect with people from all different places and backgrounds is such an amazing thing. I love the fact that I can write a blog post, or take a photo and put it out there for the world to see. What we need to be mindful of, is our motivations behind using social media. If we want to gain positivity and inspiration from it, then we can. On the flipside, it can also be a breeding ground for negativity. I think a lot of users forget that we have choice. If you no longer like an account then unfollow it, if you see content you don't like then click out of it. Why spend your time looking at something you don't like, enjoy or agree with which will ultimately make you unhappy? If we all took an extra second to 'like' a photo, or congratulate someone on their good news, then think about all the positivity we would be spreading. I believe the notion of 'doing something nice for someone will also make you feel good' completely translates to our online world. So, the next time you're scrolling through your fave social media platform and see something you like, let that person know! You'll probably feel happier and more connected by doing it.

#11 Practising Patience

One word that other people have used consistently to describe me throughout my life is 'laid-back'. Even school reports from when I was really young use some kind of adjective such as relaxed, calm, mellow, etc. Then, in secondary school, teachers confused my air of 'easy-goingness' as 'coasting' - which was so not true. It was kind of ironic, considering by the time I reached my leaving exams (GCSEs) I experienced several panic attacks and had constant problems with my tonsils due to stress.

I do agree to some extent that, yes, I am quite laid-back; I don't freak-out during stressful situations, I am more than happy to go along with other people's plans, and I don't tend to let little day-to-day things bother me. My parents have always said I was a really calm child, and I do believe my true self is really as cool as a cucumber. However, you would be 100% wrong to assume I never feel anxious or worried. I remember having to give a presentation in school and being ridiculously nervous, yet my teacher singled me out for delivering a confident, enjoyable speech. I was so confused, because I was such a wreck before-hand and was sure that would come through once I spoke. What I have realised over the years, is I have a brilliant poker face. I can appear to be composed, even if I have a million anxious thoughts running through my head. You know that saying about a duck looking calm, but paddling like crazy underneath the water? - that is definitely me.

A word that could be associated with being laid-back, is patience. I used to believe I was patient, but as I'm getting older I feel my patience levels are decreasing. I think it's a mix between living in a 24/7 world where everything is delivered straight away, and because I am so aware of mortality that I have developed an urgency to do everything right now before I get old and die. It also doesn't help that you're expected to have 10 years of work experience when you've just graduated, which adds to my need to accomplish a million and one things at once. I find reading about other's successes, especially those around my age, adds to my impatience. When people talk about their awesome job and finding their ~path and passion~, I end up wishing that was me right now.

I have been reading Lisa Jakub's amazing blog, where she talks a lot about finding your 'authentic path', which is basically what I'm trying to do now. I sent her a tweet and she replied with this pearl of wisdom. The 'just be patient' part really stood out to me. We are bombarded with people's accomplishments, but their trials and struggles are often glossed over. It's easy to paint someone as an overnight sensation, when it has really taken them years of hard graft and lows to get to that point. This is where my patience problem lies. I need to acknowledge that these years of my life are my hard-grafting phase; exertion, rejection, and wrong turns in my path will be rife.

There's a post circulating on social media at the moment, which highlights several well-known people that didn't achieve or start working towards their dreams until various points in their life. Being of the Disney Channel/YouTube generation, where child stars and young people are wildly rich and successful (though, happy? maybe not) and held as the ultimate goal, I have acquired a weird guilt that I'm not that. Which is stupid, because I am sure that level of attention would drive me crazy! What that post emphasised to me is, it's okay to not have reached your dreams, or discovered your authentic path at the ripe old age of 22 ;), or at any age. And those who do achieve their goals at a young age or very quickly, are anomalies. We need time and lots of hard work to get there. Success isn't an easy journey from A to B, it's more like climbing a mountain range full of ups and downs, highs and lows.

Rome wasn't built in a day. Achievements don't happen overnight. It's our efforts over countless days and nights, spanning months and years, that lead us to create something worthwhile and of meaning. So, in the words of Lisa, I'm going to be patient and enjoy the journey.